Wallpaper is the Devil’s spawn Part II

Back in January I began taking down the awful wallpaper in J’s bathroom. I referenced it on the old blog to share exactly how hideous the wallpaper was. This weekend was it. I had a long weekend and was determined that I would finish taking down the wallpaper, prime the drywall, texture the drywall and paint. I took down the old light fixtures and put them in the trash. Little brother came over to install the new ones I had bought, and they would not work. Apparently, one must have the correct size mounting plate. Making a long story short, brother and dad went to Lowes to try and make the fixtures work. No success. I ended up having to purchase new fixtures and little brother installed them on Monday. The bathroom looks great. I am no longer embarrassed having guest use that bathroom. If anyone cares (probably not but I will share anyway), J’s shower curtain is an undersea theme with almost every color imaginable in it. I chose a light purple in the curtain and ran with it. Imagine a pastel purple you see around Easter. It does feel a bit like a big easter egg. No really it looks great. The light fixtures and face plates are brushed nickel. I have rambled on way too long about this bathroom. I guess I figure it took me three days to complete so hence the ramble.

J is still doing great with surgery recovery. His eyes are almost straight. We go for our post-surgery dr appt tomorrow. I will ask the dr why they are not totally aligned. Me not letting him in the bathroom while I was working was almost too much for him to handle. I counted a lot this weekend, as in “if I get to 3 and you are not out of this bathroom you are in time out.” This concept is new for J. I am so happy he is finally getting it. I have been trying for years and when I would count he would give me a look like WTH are you doing. It has only been in the past few weeks that he is connecting the dots. His verbal skills have grown by leaps and bounds the past couple of weeks too. He has begun putting 3 and 4 word spontaneous sentences together. Not just the echolalic speech.

Not much new with adoption news. Just waiting for our home study to be updated. Hopefully that will be done in the next week or two.

J is doing great

Yesterday was J’s eye surgery and all went well. I apologize in advance to all good nurses out there, but some of ya’ll drive me up the wall. I know my kiddo. Anyway, we went back to recovery after the surgery was over and J was sleeping like a baby. The had a flow of O2 just placed in front of his face which kept his sats up. He was so out that he was breathing pretty hard. Not retracting but not a normal breathing pattern for him. I was keeping an eye on him and waiting. After about 15 min of him not even thinking about waking up, I start trying to get the ball rolling. We sat the bed up and he began stirring. Well she took away the oxygen, which was fine b/c they were not going to let him go home needing O2. His sats started dropping into the 80s and the alarm began going off. She would come and silence it and I kept trying to get him alert. She kept telling me he was fine w/ the alarm going off. I was not worried but he was a bit dusky. I kept stimulating him to wake him up. Then she tells me —– “You know some preemies never sat in the 90s so you can’t expect that. He does have lung damage.” Did I just hear her correctly? Funny, during the pre-op triage he was sating 99%. Whatever, I was doing her job just fine.

When we returned home, J did not want to have himself limited in any way. He ate just about everything in the pantry. He did not want to lie still and wake up; he wanted to walk around and sit up. Now mind you we are having to support him so he does not fall down. Today, he has been a wild man. His eyes already look better, and he has good coloring.

Today was a reality check. My supervisor gave her notice last week. I had been thinking about talking to our executive director about the position. Not that I really wanted the headache of the job, but I don’t want anyone new coming in to change a bunch of things. We have a good team and a good situation in our department. Very flexible. A co-worker and I came up with the idea of making it a co-program director position. It would make the job very doable and allow us to keep our caseload. We went to our supervisor (the one leaving) to run the idea by her before taking it to the big boss. She was not positive at all. She did not think they would go for that idea. Here is where the reality check came in. I have always been people’s go to person, the person who can do anything put in front of them. As most know, with everything going on with Josh I need a lot of flexibility and attention paid to him. My boss said she did not feel I would be able to balance all of the extras that the promotion would require and family. She knows I could do the job but thinks that I would end up leaving b/c I did not like it any longer. It was a slap in the face. Not a slap in the face from her but the from the reality of my life or our situation. The hard thing is that I think she is right. I have decided that if they let us do it as a co-director position– I will. If not then I will see who they bring in. The co-worker I want to work with said she will not do it on her own either. I wish she would, b/c she is perfect for it. Welcome to my pity party. It will be short lived.:)

Remember J tomorrow

J is going to have eye surgery at 12:30pm tomorrow. He has an eye that crosses. They need to go in and straighten it or he could lose vision in that eye. So, please remember him in prayers tomorrow.

As for the adoption, we are now just waiting to have our home study updated. All paperwork is turned in and portfolio is DONE. Now back to the WAITING.

Belated Happy Mother’s Day

First, I want to wish a very belated Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers out there.

Last night we finished our education classes at CC. They had an adult adoptee come and speak. It was really great hearing things from her perspective. I know every situation is different but it was nice to hear her say that her adoptive mom will always be her mom. Even though I agree with open adoption it is still scary. After last night, it is less scary. My lovely husband made an a$$ of himself.:) Not really. When in doubt he reverts to sarcasism. That is fine with people we know and know he is joking. Well with a group of people who don’t know us and one of which will decide if our application is approved, maybe not the best idea. I am being dramatic. It was fine. Hubby just felt really comfortable. It was a good class overall. Almost everyone participated and gave input.

I have now sent all of the paperwork they need for our file. We now just wait for the appointment for the home study update. R and I talked and we know we are with the right agency for us. That being said, they are not in a huge rush to do anything. I know it will be a waiting game soon enough, but I eagerly want to get the update done. I plan on putting together our portfolio this weekend. Waiting is beginning again!

Hubby is on a men’s retreat this weekend with my dad and brother. I hope he relaxes and gets a lot out of it. So say a prayer for him this weekend.

Guilt rears it’s ugly head again

We found a Behavioral Psychologist to work with us and J. I spoke with her office yesterday and got the fees charged for the different services. She will work 1:1 w/ him and also has social skills groups. They do not bill anything with insurance companies and are out of network. So, I called the insurance company. Our mental health benefits are embarrassing. They pay max 30 visits per year and only about $40/session when the price is $150/hour. That is after we meet our $1500 deductible. Now is where the guilt kicks in— we can’t afford this with everything else we are doing with J and trying to pay for an adoption. Right now, speech is more important. I guess I we will have to deal with the behaviors for now. I do need to find resources as to how we can do behavior mod on our own. I am just out of ideas on my own. That is why we wanted to see a professional. Someone told me that an agency locally has a grant for ABA therapy for children under 8 y/o. I don’t think ABA will be a good fit for J. I still need to learn more about it. I plan on checking into this option. I just wish I had about an extra $15k/year to get J what he needs. Is that asking too much?

On a lighter note, we start our adoption education class tonight w/ CC. We should be signing the contract next week and turn in our book to be given to birth parents shortly after that. Moving forward again.